IF ... went to public school today

These days, with all the "safe school" questionnaires, pupil observation monitoring and the data-mining component of the Common Core, our public schools seem to be blazing a trail of emotional ills-for-all.  Can you just imagine what it would be like ...

If Thomas Alva Edison was in elementary school today …

He would be diagnosed with ADHD because he had the attention span of a flea in class and was only interested in subjects that were of interest to him. He appeared confused and distracted to his teachers.  He was said to be “un-teachable."

If Helen of Troy was in elementary school today …

She would be diagnosed with paranoia.  She was convinced people were out to get her.  On occasion, she also had psychotic episodes, believing her mother to be a swan and her father, a god.  At puberty, she was kidnapped.

If Sir Isaac Newton was in elementary school today …

He would be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance/Conduct disorder because he threatened to kill his cruel stepfather and burn his house down after the uncaring man whisked his mother away and left Newton to be raised by a grandmother.

If Moses was in elementary school today …

He would be diagnosed with schizophrenia.  He saw visions, heard voices and was believed God talked to him.

If Jane Goodall was in elementary school today …

She would be diagnosed under Cluster B Personality disorder since Narcissism doesn't exist anymore.  Fascinated with the “Tarzan” stories, she believed she would make a better “Jane” than Jane.  Only her mother believed that someday she would make a name for herself in Africa.

If Gandhi was in elementary school today …

He would be diagnosed as bipolar.  On the one hand, he was quiet, shy and retiring, often tongue-tied.  On the other hand, he was over-reactive, over-emotional and prone to binges of meat-eating, smoking and petty acts of pilfering. 

If Madame (Marie) Curie was in elementary school today …

She would be diagnosed with depression and reactive psychosis.  Her youth was marred by the deaths of her sister and mother.  As a teen, she suffered a nervous breakdown and thereafter was deemed an under-achiever.

If little Teddy Geisel was in elementary school today…

He would be diagnosed with Impulse Regulatory Disorder.  He was class clown, the trouble maker who broke rules, cut class, exaggerated and he drew bizarre pencil drawings.  He saw the world in a way considered abnormal by his teachers.  They warned him that he would never be successful.  His parents wanted him to be a doctor but he was voted "least likely to succeed" until Ted followed his passion and became a doctor after all... Dr. Seuss.

In addition to City on a Hill, Merrill Hope is a contributing writer at Save America Foundation and other online sites following a lot of freelance writing for publications like the Hollywood Reporter and Backstage West. She's married, the mother of a teenager (God help her!) & a dachshund lover. Follow her at Merrill Hope @outoftheboxmom.  

This article originally appeared on http://www.saveamericafoundation.com/